


In Candle Light

by whathappenedinwellington



Category: BBC Radio 1 RPF, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-14 00:53:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17498555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whathappenedinwellington/pseuds/whathappenedinwellington
Summary: Based on this glorious quote from the Radio One Breakfast Show interview from 2017 promo season:“It was fine because it was the day time but as it gets to the sadder part of the film the sun began to set, and then suddenly you realise, you know after a couple hours, you’re suddenly there watching The Notebook in candle light and you’re like… this is different from when it started”Or, what really went down after Nick and Harry watched The Notebook together in candle light.





	In Candle Light

“You know, I’ve never actually seen The Notebook.”

Nick says it with such nonchalance that Harry almost thinks he’s joking, but no, his humour is certainly not _that_ dry. He halts the movement of his knife slicing into his avocado on sourdough toast breakfast and settles Nick with a look of utter bewilderment. Nick carries on as if he’s just said nothing out of the ordinary, completely oblivious to Harry’s stare and frozen stature as he takes a sip of his cuppa and continues to chat off on another tangent.

With a bite of his own breakfast, Nick finally looks up and does a double take when he sees Harry’s expression.

“Earth to Harry,” he chuckles, waving a hand in front of his motionless face. “I know I’m well dreamy and that but you can’t be zoning out on me mid conversation. That’s not good for my ego either.”

Harry snorts, shaking his head fondly.

“It just balances it out.”

A waitress pops around to fill up their water glasses, asking them how everything with their meals are going as she does so.

“Perfect, love, as always. Thank you,” Nick says, sincerely.

This has always been his and Nick’s go to breakfast spot. It’s small but homey and inviting, burgundy painted walls adorned with a vast collection of art and other interesting little knickknacks. It’s also pretty much smack bang in the middle between their houses which is a nice little bonus. Whenever he has a day off he’ll usually make the trip down by foot, ordering two tall lattes for takeaway and walking them both back to Nick’s place where he admittedly spends most of his time out.

But perhaps the friendship he’s been cultivating for all these years is fruitless because Nick has clearly been hiding something _very_ important from him for a long time.

“You’ve never seen The Notebook,” he parrots, dryly.

Nick pretends to mull the question over for a moment, theatrically holding a finger up to his temple, clearly amused by Harry’s own dramatics. “Hmm, nope. Never.”

“And you never thought to tell me this?”

Nick snorts, wide grin breaking out on his face. “Would now be the wrong time to tell you I’ve also never seen _When Harry met Sally_? Or--”

“Nick!” Harry cuts him off with a groan, dropping his face into his hands. “Why would you tell me that? I can’t take in all this traumatising information at once.”

“You implied I should!”

“Not all at once!” Harry whines, though it comes out slightly muffled through his hands. “It’s too much.”

They both start laughing then and its easy, just like it’s always been between them. He loves this comfortable banter they share, even if this time he’s not sure he’s entirely joking. Who hasn’t seen the bloody _Notebook_? Nick sure has done enough teasing in his time about Harry’s hots for Ryan Gosling, was it wrong for him to assume he’d seen it, too? Of course it was, otherwise he’d understand why Harry fancies Ryan Gosling so much. Obviously.

“Seriously though, we have to watch _The Notebook_. I’m sorry, it’s just how it goes.”

Nick cocks an amused brow. “Oh, do we now?”

Harry nods, seriously, shifting his face from that gleeful look he gets when he knows he’s gotten his way, to something which looks much more regrettable. “I don’t make the rules…” he shrugs.

The corner of Nicks lip pulls up. “Yeah, yeah. Your place or mine?”

*

They end up at Nicks, just like they always do. Harry loves his own house but there is just something about Nick’s place that feels more like _home_. He can’t quite place his finger on exactly what, it’s just a feeling. A feeling he gets when they’re cuddled up next to each other on the couch under mounds of blankets and pillows watching mindless reality telly on weeknights off, or when they cook together in Nick’s kitchen, dancing around to classic 90’s hip-hop tracks and making an absolute fool of themselves.

It’s just comfortable, he guesses. He and Nick have been friends from the very beginning, ever since Harry made the move down to London to start the launch of One Direction’s career. Nick has been there for him ever since, a familiar hand to help him through whatever his whirlwind life has thrown at him. Whether it’s something big, like the awful period when he was 18 when Harry had realised that perhaps his feelings towards boys weren’t all that different to how he felt about girls and figuring out what that meant for him, or simply just a bad day when he’s tired and grumpy and in need of a little TLC, he knows without a doubt that Nick will be there by his side. He’s been a constant throughout something so unpredictable and Harry couldn’t be more thankful to have kept him by his side through all the chaos.

Or maybe it’s just Nick’s dog that has Harry coming back for more.

“Pig! Baby, I missed you!” Pig claws at his legs excitedly immediately upon stepping past the threshold, tail wagging uncontrollably. Harry kneels to her height, letting her paws hit his chest as she eagerly licks his face. “That’s my girl! Yeah, you’re my girl!”

“Gettin’ jealous over here,” Nick says as he hangs his coat up. Harry shrugs off his own, passing it up to put next to his. “Giving Pig more love than you do me.”

“Don’t tell Daddy I love you more than him, okay Piggy baby?” Harry whispers, theatrically. He feels Nicks fond gaze on the side of his face so he grins and continues. “Yeah, he gets jealous very easily and—“

Without warning, Pig swiftly stalks away from, stepping over his feet and bashing her face into Nicks thigh much to Harry’s own chagrin.

“Oh welcome back, Madam.” Harry rolls his eyes at the smugness in Nick’s tone as he gets back to his feet.

“Whatever. You want a cuppa?”

*

It’s about half three in the afternoon by the time they get around to _The Notebook_. It’s been quite some time since they’ve had a full day of each other’s undivided attention, two equally busy, but often opposing schedules making it rather difficult to get in anything more substantial than a late night take out dinner, or a quick walk of the dogs on a weekend morning.

They settle into the living room and Harry lights each candle around the room while Nick logs into his Netflix account on the TV and begrudgingly types _The Notebook_ into the search bar. Harry lights the last of the candles on the mantle behind the couch before impatiently catapulting himself over the back rest, into Nicks side.

Harry has always been a sucker for young, everlasting love. It’s not secret, mostly thanks to Nick’s teasing anecdotes on air, broadcasted across the country. There is just something about first love that is so pure and the way this film in particular showcases that in such a playful, yet passionate way has Harry’s heart melting into his own longing for something equally as sweet and innocent. Perhaps he’s missed that boat, though. He hasn’t exactly lost hope for a hopeless romance in his life but maybe he’s becoming a little cynical, having been burnt a few too many times.

“Ready?”

An amused smirk pulls at Nicks lips, “As I’ll ever be, popstar.”

Harry spends the first few minutes elatedly gaging Nick’s minute reactions, but before long finds himself enraptured in the screen. He sees Nick’s hand in his peripheral before he feels it, fingers gently stroking between his brows. Harry realises his face has been resting in a deep frown as he is captured by the film.

“You’ve seen this a trillion times, popstar. Unclench.”

Harry snorts at that, feeling a little bit of the tension release. He sinks back further in the couch and Nick scoots a little closer, wrapping his arm around his neck. Harry’s head drops onto his shoulder.

It doesn’t take long for Harry to once again be completely immersed in the emotion and he feels the back of his throat begin to sting with the threat of tears. He sniffs once, earning a hearty laugh from Nick which jostles him enough into coaxing him into lifting his head.

He settles Nick with an unimpressed, albeit a little amused, gaze at breaking him out of his zone for a second time.

“You’re unbelievable,” Nick grins, biting into his bottom lip. “You really eat this shit up.”

“I do,” Harry says, seriously. “You’d probably enjoy it too, if you gave it half a chance.”

Nick settles his face into what Harry assumes is supposed to look serious but instead scrunches his face a little comically. Harry uses both hands to smooth out the lines, much like Nick had done to him earlier.

“Wrinkles,” Harry warns.

Nick’s face lights up. “You’re right!” he says, comically straightening his face into something more neutral which actually makes him look like he’s had a few mills syringed into his face.

Harry’s lip quivers but he doesn’t give him the satisfaction of laughing, instead shaking his head and pushing him into a laying position. Harry lines himself up in front of Nick, tucking his arm under his head as a pillow and rubbing his socked feet together as he wiggles back against him until he’s comfortable in the new position.

Nick quickly quiets down after that and Harry feels quickly re-immersed into the action as the film begins to close in on the end.

He knows how this ends and perhaps that’s what draws him back time and time again. It’s heart breaking but its familiar and sweet. He watches with rapt attention as Noah crawls into bed with Allie and he can tell that Nick is too, quiet and still behind him. Harry reaches behind him and takes Nicks hand, cupping it between them. Nick gives him a firm squeeze but holds on.

Harry’s hand goes slack though as he takes in the sight before him on the screen, feeling a very sudden and overwhelming similarity between fiction and reality. His and Nick’s body’s almost exactly mirror those of the lovers before him. The way they are positioned in the final scene is one Harry has always recognised as a symbol of eternal love. He feels like he’s been plunged into ice cold water.

Harry lays still for a second holding his breath. He’s not sure why he does it but he lays still and quiet and listens to the even pattern of Nicks own breaths. It’s completely dark outside. He hadn’t even noticed.

Harry turns to Nick to see him looking straight back at him. Half of his face is illuminated by the TV, the other half by the soft candle light. It dances across his face in a lovely yellow hue as the flame flickers and Harry can’t pull his eyes away. He’s suddenly stuck by how beautiful he is. Of course he always knew this but right now, he feels like he’s being smacked across the face with it.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispers without filter. He doesn’t think he could’ve even stopped the words if he tried. He feels like he’s in a haze, the words crawling up his throat unapologetically.

His eyes are drawn to Nick throat as he swallows. His skin looks soft and smooth beneath the short stubble which extends down below his chin, alluring. Harry feels almost drunk as he leans down to gently kiss the side of his neck. Just one peck. He feels Nick pulse rabbit against his lips.

“Harry.”

“Tell me to stop and I will.” Harry lets his lips drag across Nicks skin as he says it. Nick’s breath hitches but other than that minute movement, his body remains perfectly still.

“Harry.”

Harry closes his lips, wetly mouthing at Nick’s neck. His teeth nip and Nick finally unfreezes, bringing his hands up to Harry’s waist.

“What are you doing?” he asks, his defensive tone contradicting his actions as he wraps his arms around Harry’s lower back and pulls him closer.

Harry sighs, dropping the crown of his head into Nick’s neck, burrowing beneath his chin. “I’m sorry. I don’t know.”

“Hey,” Nick whispers. He softly threads his finger through Harry’s hair and lifts his head. Eye to eye, Harry feels so vulnerable suddenly. “I didn’t think you wanted this.”

They’re so close, Harry feels glued in place by Nicks heavy gaze, his soft hazel eyes framed by thick dark lashes positively mesmerising. His confidence melts away and his mouth suddenly feels like it’s been filled with cotton. “I— “

“Harry.” Nick’s tone is sterner this time, his grip on Harry’s waist reading somewhat more urgently. More pleading. Their eyes still haven’t shifted away and the underlying look he sees there is what finally snaps him out of his trance.

He leans in and kisses him.

Blood rushes to his ears as their lips collides, heart pounding against his chest. He panics for a moment when Nick doesn’t respond instantly, but he doesn’t pull away. He keeps his lips firmly pressed against Nick’s, revelling in the scratch of the evening stubble on his cheeks and desperately trying to communicate the way he’s feeling where words fail him through his kiss. Desperately trying to find a reciprocation. It only takes a moment but it feels like an eternity before Nick’s lips come to life against his own.

Harry sinks into it then, mind slowing with relief as their mouths mould together gracefully. He feels tender fingertips stroking at the corners of his closed eyelids, enticing them to open as their mouths separate and their foreheads gently knock together. Butterflies erupt in his stomach as he’s met with the most brilliant grin, all teeth and crinkly eyes.

The sight is too much. A smile erupts on his own face as he buries his face into the side of Nick’s neck, airy laugh escaping him. Nick laughs too, nose digging into Harry’s hair and pressing his lips against the crown of his head.

“You alright?” Nick asks after a while of simply holding each other. Harry’s arms have migrated around Nick’s waist, mirroring Nick’s own hold on him. They fit together like jigsaw puzzle pieces. They always have, but this feels different somehow. Undeniably the same, yet somehow different.

Harry takes one more deep breath against Nick’s warm skin before finally plucking the courage to lift his gaze. The same warm brown eyes and soft smile stare back at him and he suddenly feels very shy again. _This is Nick,_ he reminds himself, _your Nick._

“I don’t know,” Harry admits with a laugh.

Nick raises a single brow. “You know, when I thought about what kissing Harry Styles would be like, this isn’t what I imagined. Confident, Lothario, heartbreaker, womaniser Harry Styles—“

“Stop,” Harry groans.

“Why have I…”

“You’ve thought about kissing me?”

Nick pauses, before stuttering. “Oh. I—“

Harry covers Nick’s mouth with his palm. He presses his lips against the back of his own hand, letting his skin muffle his next words.

“I’ve thought about kissing you.”

He kisses the back of his hand before shakily moving it into Nick’s hair, letting his confession settle in the between them.

“You have?”

Harry bites his lip as he nods honestly. He feels uncomfortable laying himself bare like this, heat gathering in his cheeks as Nick’s mouth falls open. It’s a good kind of uncomfortable though. Like the first time he’d ever performed in front of anyone aside from his family, it was vulnerable and raw. Uncomfortable, sure, but had his heart racing and adrenaline pumping in the most pleasurable way.  

“I have too,” Nick admits bravely, lifting his chin and shifting closer to Harry.

Harry moves closer too, until their lips are brushing and their warm breath mingles together. “Kiss me again, then.”

“Yeah?” Nick exhales, lip tugging up on the edge.

Their lips are already touching as Harry whispers, “Please.”

Then they’re kissing again and Harry’s eyes are fluttering closed as if on demand. He feels Nicks eyelashes brush against the top of his cheekbone as his shut too, allowing nothing but the feeling to wash over them.

They build an evenly paced rhythm pretty quickly and Harry is surprised by how graceful the dance between their tongues is. There is no awkward stumbling as they become used to the feel of one another, it just feels right. Familiar, in a weird way.

Nick shifts and the next thing Harry knows, Nick is on his back and Harry is laying on top of him as he blindly follows his mouth. His hands come to rest in the dip of his back, rucking the hem of his shirt up to feel warm skin against warm skin. He presses down and Harry shifts his weight, essentially lining up their hips. He groans when he feels Nick’s cock against his own.

“Shit.”

The kiss becomes more heated and Harry’s body feels hot all over. He separates their mouths long enough to shuck his t-shirt up over his head and toss it on the floor. When he leans back down, his chest collides with another naked chest, Nick’s shirt discarded too.

Nick’s chest hair scratches against Harry’s bare one.

“I like this,” he manages, bringing his clammy hand to scratch at the thick rug on Nick’s chest. He closes his finger and pulls. “Really like it.”

“Yeah?”

Nick sounds breathless, like he’s feeling just as overwhelmed as Harry and that sparks something deep in Harry’s gut and has him pushing his hips down, uncontrolled. Nick groans, settling his hands on top of Harry’s arse and pulling him in closer with a firm grip.

Harry spreads his legs in response, bringing his knees onto either side of Nicks legs and digging them into the couch.

The heat grows between them quickly. Harry feels like there is electricity is running through his veins and an uncontrolled fire developing in the pit of his stomach. This has been long awaited, Harry realises, and perhaps that fact is what has him so affected and so _desperate_. He’d be embarrassed if it was anyone but Nick, the one person that knows all of his secrets and he feels most comfortable with.

“Mm, why have we never done this before?” Harry asks, mouth catching up with his brain to uselessly and poorly articulate his thoughts. He only breaks the kiss for enough time get the words out and suck in a deep breath before diving right back in. He spreads his legs a bit more, using the purchase of his knees on the couth to press his hips down harder on Nicks. “You feel so good.”

Nick hums in acknowledgement. A beat passes and then Nick’s warm hands are gone from the bare skin of his lower back and are pushing against his chest. “Harry, wait.”

Harry opens his eyes slowly, frowning down at Nick. He’s flushed, hair a mess on top of his head with a look on his face that Harry can’t quite read. Anxiety spikes inside of him because Nick is his familiar, like a book he’s read a thousand times, but somehow he’s opened the one chapters he never dared to and it’s scary. The unfamiliar is scary.

“Are you okay?” he dares to ask, thighs still wrapped around Nicks hips.

Nick runs a shaky hand through his unruly hair before he takes Harry’s face in both hands. Harry thinks he’s going to kiss him but instead he’s settled with another new look.

“This is weird.”

“So weird,” Harry agrees, frowning. Hesitantly, he asks, “But good, yeah?”

What is Nick saying? Nothing apparently, as the silence stretches and the heat in Harry’s stomach rapidly swirls into something more reminiscent of anxiety.

“You were the first guy I had a crush on,” he blurts out, like it might help.

Nick smiles at that and the sight of it has some of the anxiety in Harry’s gut releasing.

“Well you’re my longest crush,” Nick adds.

Harry huffs a breath, the noise coming out somewhere between a laugh and a sigh. “Yeah?”

“Are we being stupid?” Harry asks. “Have we been stupid?”

“I just…” Nick struggles. “What do you…”

“What?”

“I can’t do this with you.”

The words come like a physical burn. Harry sits up, heart deflating as he settles cross legged into the other end of the couch. Nick sits up too, roughly scrubbing a hand through his hair. It’s quiet for a few moments then though unlike the usual stretches of hush between them which are comfortable and familiar, this just feels plain awkward.

“Why?” he eventually musters the courage to ask.

Nick stands abruptly and Harry suddenly feels very small.

“Because I want this more than you do, alright? And I just…” Nick makes a frustrated noise and Harry can’t help but to frown. “Don’t look at me like that, please. I love you, Harry, and that’s why I need to look after myself. If we do this… I love you, but not like you love me and if we do this then it’s just going to hurt me—“

Harry’s pulse rabbits.

“Nick, I love you too.”

Nick closes his eyes. His voice is even and slow when he continues. “No, Harry. I love you. I’m in love with you, whatever. I just—“

Harry stands suddenly and abruptly cuts Nick off with a hard kiss. “I’m in love with you, too. God, I can’t believe—“

Nick looks positively stunned, mouth hanging open comically. “You… what?”

“Yeah,” Harry grins, feeling lighter than he has in a long time. “I’m in love with you.”

“I…”

Nick comes up completely blank, eyes wide and mouth hanging open a little bit. Harry can’t help but to smile. “I know. I can’t believe I just said that aloud.”

“I love you, too.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m _in love_ with you, too.”


End file.
